stupid signs!

So here's the deal. I was with my friend Hanna in her dorm's empty hall surfing the net and watching Gossip Girl's 3rd season episodes when the I realized it was already adzan. So I told her I'll go to the musolla first to pray, so we can take turn looking after the laptop we're sharing. I just so happen that even if it was my second time going in to her dorm's musolla, I'm still confused where to wudu'. I took the left side from the main door anyway, and since there isn't any sign, I took it as,"oh well, this is a girls' dormitory, anyway," and went in. They have mirrors there now, I thought.

I took my time staring at myself in the mirror when a deep voice cut me from almost reaching for the tap,"uhh, I guess you got it wrong. This is the male's side.." I turned to him in horror. OH MY GOD...my head is screaming in disbelief. "Oh, my bad!" is all I gathered, not wanting to see what was he doing or is he even dressed. I marched back to the door and he went like, "that's no problem," (my ass!).

Lesson learned.

No signs? You're not sure? Don't go in. :)

I'm just so tired

Alam mo kung anong talang nakakapagod? Yung sa inaraw-araw na pagod at alala mo sa isang bagay,mapupunta lang sa wala. Yung tipong ginawa mo na ang lahat,di parin sapat.

Yun ang talagang nakakapagod. Di ko na kaya..parang sasabog na ang ulo ko! Napapagod na akong gawin ang lahat tapos hindi rin naman pala bubunga. Gusto ko nang umuwi..kalimutan ang lahat at magsimula sa simula nang walang nakakakilala sakin..

Scary? I'm not even there yet.

the big bang theory season 2!

The only one and the most obvious reason why a show goes to another season showing is because it's a freaking hit! Check out "Big Bang Theory Season Two" and I'm telling you, you'll never find yourself dorkier than ever! *laughs*

The story goes around with Sheldon Cooper, Leonard Hofstadter, Howard Wolowitz and Rajesh Koothrappali, some socially awkward scientists who happened to be friends with the hot girl next door, Penny. The theme is a sitcom about friendship, rejection and pride that was squeezed into a package of dorky wit and sarcasm.





I just love Sheldon Cooper!!!



Do me a favor, please watch it!

I'm done with Nilai! yay!

Living in Nilai for some reasons would seem like a horror to all of you considering it's not that of an ideal youthful, urban environment what with all the horrible, abandoned buildings. But believe me, it was a whole lot of an exciting journey. Staying in Malaysia for a year and 8 months now, I've been continuously treasuring every moments. It's not everyday that you bump into an inspiring lecturer or an awesome set of company, ain't it? So might as well, put them on a treasure box that you can lean on when the world says, "you're not my favorite girl anymore!"




For all this time I've been asking myself why God sent me to this sad place. But if I didn't enter UIA in the first place, I would've regretted it. See, when I came to Malaysia on a Christmas eve of 2007, (when everyone was rejoicing about Christmas) I was celebrating for something else: "I'm away, far, far away.." Even if Philippines is just an ocean away, the word "away" sounded for profound, so delicate, so exciting! And yes, I loved the fact that I'm no longer bounded to stay at home with my mom telling me what to do, my sister giggling gossips over the phone, my brother making a mess of my hair and my dad (oh well, I miss my dad) with his lectures. It just feels so different. At the age 16, I was "away", and I kept on repeating it when I was aboard til I fall asleep.

But then, when I woke up from my very own girlish dreams, it wasn't that easy after all. I remembered Spider Man's uncle saying, "With great power, comes big responsibility." That is completely true. Behind all the pleasures from living on my own offers me: the taste of sweet independence and the decisions I need no one to choose for me, there is a big shadow of responsibility that awaits me...chases after me every time the selfish, irrational Olfa conquers me. Through these nightmares, I thought to myself, " I had mom next door asking if I was ok, if her baby girl is doing fine.." Now that I'm all grown up, almost a woman who claims she can do it all, I still cry for every night when I realize Mama is no longer next door and would call me baby girl. (to cheer me up, my dad would say, "honey, we're just a plane ticket away. It's not that far!" with a mocking laugh.)

Back to my point, it's never easy to pack up and tell the world, "I would a big catch one day," because life is not just about butterflies and lollipops. Whoah, don't get me wrong! It's good to be positive but people, think of circumstances after the huge daydream. Then, move your feet step by step and you wouldn't even realize your already there. However, remember the most vital apart, don't forget to look back to where you came from.




I've learn it the hard way, or shall I say the most effective way destiny wants to teach me. After the long day's work, I gathered a whole big pot of knowledge, amazing people I would remember forever, a stronger love for my family and the faith in Allah (which I figured was the hardest to find but the easiest to lose).

Then again, I'm just an 18-year-old girl, happy of hopping to her next level of independence - now with precautions, or course. To all I've shared my precious days in Nilai, it doesn't end just right there, baby. We have 4 more years, inshaallah. God bless! :P

saved by the baju kurung!

Yeah, I was 50 minutes late to class just now and guess what? My lecturer was magically not bothered about it. All she uttered was, "Nice baju kurung! Where did you get that?"

Ok, I admit, that was really random knowing my lecturer never complimented me for anything for the past 4 months of being her student. But today was different. I came late for about 50 minutes to class because of this graduating students briefing session that took 30 minutes of my Math class. And then, I went to my room to pray and get my books that consumed..I don't know, 15 minutes and the last 5 minutes would be the walking since my blessed short legs couldn't get any faster than almost a meter per step. So yeah, I was late, big time! Since it's Math, nobody dares to come late so everyone stared at me in disbelief as I enter the room. Some looked like, "Why did you come? If I were you, I'd rather stay in my room," and "How can you get the lesson if you're this late?"

I didn't care. I went in with my politest 'assalamualaykum' and sat. Phew! The worst is over, I told myself. After class, she looked at my direction which means I really have to tell her why I'm freaking late. I got up and smiled pleasingly, hoping she would believe me because obviuosly, I wouldn't dare to lie in Ramadan. *chuckles* But to my surprise, she's still a woman who loves shoes ands clothes despite of being the strict Math lecturer we know. She went all like, "I like your baju kurung..."

Yeah, I smiled and politely told her my dress' details, but in my head I'm saying, "That was close."

I realize...

When I got back from my one month and a week holiday in Philippines, my perspective in life changed. Well, I expect a change in the first place, but it didn’t occur to me that it would be bugging until now. I don’t think I’m being “emo” of what’s happening, because if I am, it wouldn’t surely drive me mad yet. So, what I mean by ‘my changed perspective’ is that, I think life is really short. When you’re at high school, when everyone seems to be doing whatever they want as they define it as being alive, you some sort of feel sorry for them, isn’t it? You think that they’re just trying to be cool – in a way yes – but actually, they are one of the wisest people on earth. Why? Simply because they know their existence is just once in a lifetime and that “it’s now or never”, as Bon Jovi defines life. I used to think that there would still be tomorrow for me undo my mistakes and start from scratch. But when I tripped on my own shoes on the second time, I don’t think life is as easy as I thought.

I’m sad about the fact that I’m not doing much on my last year of teenage life. I’m 18 now for goodness sake, and look at me, one of the most insignificant students in CFS who failed twice, yet not learning from her mistakes, and is now worried if she can still score a place in Gombak. I’m stuck in my own faults. Day by day I keep on realizing the things that I should’ve done earlier, like doing my workbook on time, having to choose the right shoe size instead of going for the style – basically, decision making problems. Time passed me by like a wind struck, and there goes my chance. And now, my biggest regret, I should’ve studied smarter if I really want to score to Gombak campus. After these things happened, I didn’t know that regret plays a big role in life. And it means everything if only we ponder on what God really wants us to realize.

God gave us the ability to think for us to choose which way we want to go. You see, that’s the problem with having to choose, it’s too much power. It gives us overwhelming power to get to rule ourselves that leads “big” responsibility. That’s why when god gifted us with brains, we got so flattered that we think carelessly of tomorrow and do anything we desire. But at the end of the day, two things are to be concluded, that our decisions could be either good or bad and whatever happens would always be 90% dependent on how we reacted on the situation. And the best example I could find would be I.

You see, I’m regretting my mistakes and I want to redo it fast as much as I wanted to accomplish a lot in life. What I’m lacking was the message God wanted me to understand. Let me tell you a short story to get into my whole point.

When we had the chance to choose which river we wanted to cross (with a boat. of course) to get to the camp’s summer house, I chose the shortest one because I didn’t want to waste my time just crossing a river. At that time, I felt smart. I mean, why would you want to sweat if you have the choice to spare yourself from it? I summed it up as wise, too, because if I get there faster, I would get to choose the nicest room in the summer house. But I wasn’t wise enough.

Those who chose the long river had more time to think about what they want to do after crossing it. They even had much time exchanging life stories along the way. When they got off the boat, they came beaming at me showing how much they enjoyed the ride. They weren’t even bothered which room they placed in as long as they’re with their best companions. Unlike me, I didn’t really have friends along the way because I was too busy being all competitive and smart. After the whole “sparing-myself-from-sweating” concept, I have nothing but my pretty but empty room. It’s the same as accomplishing nothing at all.

Let's call it a Day

It's statistically proven based on the 2003 survey that 6 out of 10 Malaysians are mentally disturbed, in the other words, psycho. That word might sound harsh but if you were to be me yesterday in the KTM (together with your friends, of course. I won't let you go nuts alone!) that is just a metaphor, I'm telling you.

Let's rewind a bit before running to the "psycho" part. My friends and I have been planning of watching "Fast and Furious" in Mid Valley since last week (why Mid Valley? Because Nilai is just about the end of the world, get it?). But since we got our own lives to run, we never had the chance to watch it last week so we bet yesterday would be the perfect time. We dashed into this cab that takes only 4 people in one go - normally - but we insisted a person more. The Pakcik was kinda pissed off the fifth person but still went on til we reached 100 meters more to the KTM station. Turns out there's a check point in the middle of the road so the third person must get out or else the Pakcik will have to pay 300 bucks. And you what's worse? We didn't see it coming and Niro** had to out of the cab along the highway. The highway. Poor thing. He has to walk all the way by himself to the KTM while the Pakcik meanly took 10 bucks for the 5Th person's charge. Justice here. But since we insisted in the first place, it's still our fault.

We got into the train on time the latest train just arrived. Boredom really kills so we were just reading, listening to music and some are chatting about random stuffs. Then suddenly, (oh yeah here goes the "psychotic loser's part") there's this man with a laptop-less, laptop bag sitting after the next aisle bellowing really loudly over the phone like he owns the whole place. Me and Sandy** were laughing our head off, but then he quickly turned to our direction. We shut up for a while and then he started asking us weird questions that are not even related to him bellowing loudly, like "Why don't you let your hair out?" or "Why are you covering? You're limiting your beauty!" and some other crap like that. At first we were just laughing at the fact that he wasn't mad because we mocked him. He turned his head to our direction again, but you can't really see where he's looking exactly 'cause his wearing shades. He kept on bugging and lecturing the people near him about some stuffs I can't get, well, I don't wanna get it, anyway. I'm surprised with the amount of patience the public is giving him. If it was in my country, they would have pop him off his seat like nobody's business. My God, I always have to remind myself that I'm in a different country.

Anyways, he moved on to his trustworthy phone since nobody is giving a damn to whatever he wanna say, clearly. He bellowed loudly over the phone again, but this time we figured out he was just calling people's attention and that he was just pretending to be talking with someone on the other line. What a bloody loser?! And yes, we laughed again with the precautions of not offending him. But this time, he got up about a meter away from us, pointing at Mary's** face:

"You are so black that even if I turn off the lights, I wouldn't see you!". What a statement. Man, he just opened a pocket full of joy and a civil war, too.

Mary: "Excuse me?" Trust me, she got used to this kind of pranks but hey, it's not funny even if, so she tries her best to be polite somehow.

The psychotic loser: "I said, you're a black woman who covers her hair and that you can't be seen in the dark!"

What the eff? HE.IS.NOT.MAKING.ANY.SENSE.PERIOD.

Oh yeah, I know what you're thinking. Lord, I wish it's halal to murder somebody right now. But it's not so wise of us to literally kill him on the spot. I mean, we're underage and then we'll be in prison, our education is at stake, we'll be a shame for UIA, etc. But we can also kill him after outside, though. It's just that finding a hiding place for his body..lying to everyone..hiding from the police and so on, would actually take more than a week to plan. Good grief, I couldn't believe we had more patience than we thought we had that the loser just got a slap of shit out of his face. We were yelling chorus to whatever he say. He screams, we scream. He points, we point. He doesn't make sense, well, that's the difference because we surely do make sense and that's the bottom line of the whole crap. He dances like Barney the purple dinosaur while insulting us thinking we are insulted, whereas actually he is just wearing off the dignity out of himself.

I feel sorry for him...NOT!

He stood near the train door unaware of his death. The mixture of glares and grins of the people on the train seems to be colliding to the conclusion that this man has to leave in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. And he left. Smart of him to think that we no longer love his presence.

Mitch** took a video of it. Oh yes, we love treasuring memories. We concluded his just probably a discouraged public speaker, or his wife left him, or he haven't eaten for months (which is unlikely since he's roundly healthy), or he's drunk (even if it's just 12am)..but the thing is, he calls himself a lawyer. Wow. This requires too much of thinking. Or maybe, just maybe, he's just one of those 6 out of 10 mentally disturbed Malaysians? God knows.

MORAL LESSON:

Never mess up with a man bellowing over the phone. Oh well, what a day.

the annoying chain: attraction - friendship - love

have you ever wondered why a guy who got attracted to a girl usually end up being friends with her and soon takes the risk of confessing his love? Typical, I know. But the point is, I'm drowned in this typical, yet annoying chain that made think that I should've just stand aside in the very beginning..and now look, I'm drowning.

Love moves in mysterious ways. And so I believed before that I wouldn't fall for this guy, I know, "is not my type". He was a long-time friend of a common friend of mine and yeah..we're just connected because of that. But then we got to talk on the day of his birthday which I've never known til he told me. Only God knows how we never stopped seeing each other after that and talking for almost everyday..it's not an obsession, though. I enjoyed his company and the rest of other common friends we have and soon, it became like a tradition for us (or sometimes, with the rest of the gang) to eat dinner together in the nearby cafe' and chat til the curfew strikes. He's really nice, I have to say. I think that's one of his charms that got us along so well. There are even times when I got bored to hang-out with my old friends when he's not invited in the occasion, and always find myself going back to my room earlier. It's just weird..but NO! He's my friend! Intimacy between us is just so wrong. And that's why I'm writing this blog, that the chain of "attraction - friendship - love", is just about the most annoying theory in the world.

Last night, he called me for a dinner together with our three other guy and two girl friends. We had a big laugh together and talked a lot about all sorts of stuffs we can imagine. It was around 30 minutes before our curfew when Anna** stared at me for a while when I was in the middle of telling "the-guy-who-is not-my-type" something about class. I was intimidated so I said, "yeah?" Then, she went like, "Nothing..it's just that, I'm thinking why don't you guys give it a try?"

Yeah, it was out of the blue, where-the-hell-did-that-came-from motion and everyone suddenly burst out laughing. Anna** wasn't entertained, she frowned.

Anna: "What's up?"

The-guy-who-is-not-my-type: "Dude, it's like saying Niro** would date Lara**! That's sick." (FYI: Lara** and Niro** are really close, school friends and the thought of them dating is just basically a bad joke.)

Awkward silence...then,

Me: "Exactly!" which I don't know why I said that because a part of my brain is telling me, I'm not expecting him to say that.

And yet, Anna** is still not contented. She pressed the topic to the extent that she asked me and him if we're single and I said yeah, but he was just laughing at the directness of the question and said, he's double. Which is funny but not in a ha-ha way for Anna**. She gripped his arm and went like, "Do I look like I'm joking?" And so, he confessed he's single. She gave me her nasty grin, but when she was about to talk, Allan cut her: "Leave them alone. If I were to read her (me) mind..she's been effing you off her head right now, and not only that, she's even thinking of murdering you before you go to bed tonight, and you know what's worse? you wouldn't die but..." yeah..no need for the whole detail of his cutting statement but the point is, Anna** shut up. And the table was left with awkward silence for 2 seconds and yeah, it's already curfew.

When I got back in to my room, he texted me for being happy of having an awesome dinner. I smiled on my own and replied, "Yeah, it was fun except for Anna's** sick joke!" Guess what? He deflected the message and went to sleep.

The conclusion is, when we got attracted to someone our opposite sex, it would be easier for us to talk to them just because we liked them. And then, friendship arises. And then.........yeah, tendency is the issue of wanting more than that, Love.

Guys and girls, be careful of taking the risk. The question is, "should I take the risk?" Let's see...

That's all for now, ciao!

L change the world!

After so many months, I'm back again. *holy lights please* This sem is awful for me because I'll have to stay for one more sem in Nilai just because they're not offering the course I wanna take. How annoying can they get? As I was dying to leave this place, the more God would love me to stay. Well, in the religious perspective, God has plans for me and that He still wants me to get something good from Nilai that I until now, I haven't realise. Sure, there must have been reasons why I still have to stay in this stinky place..but how long I have to wait for it to be realised is a big, "I DUNO!"

On the brighter side, I'm welcome to sit-in in this class of roughly, 10 girls and 9 guys of BTQ. Yeah..i know I've done this course in my 1st sem but the depressing room of mine makes me more sad, and the need to go out is really life saving..and so, i joined the class. I know most of the people in that class which made it easier for me sit-in, otherwise, I'll be bored.

My first day was a mixture of confusion and embarrassment as Sam failed to realise it was Shazna's notes Irfan was handling not mine and aggressively went like:

"Hey..Olfa! You gave him your BTQ notes and your asking for my Math notes, but you didn't give me yours?!"

What?

Man, I'm confused if he wants my BTQ notes or my Math notes but the point is, he never ask for any of them. What is he yelling about? And so, I just end up hanging in the air trying to comprehend a really bad English.

The room was filled with gasps as the lecturer came in with his brief case, wearing a long tie and a tiny curl in front of his not-so wide forehead. Yeah..it's Bro Bel**! *laughs* He's been popular with girls from the HS programme because of his neat-looking-over-sized suit and his hot English accent. I wouldn't deny I fancy him, well, not in a perverted way, of course. But hey, he's cute, right? Oh please I need Sean and Miecha with me..they'll agree for sure! *giggles* Now I know how they felt when they told me his "smoky hot"..well, it's kind of gross..but yeah, I agreed he made me starstruck! (OMG, I can't believe I'm complimenting a 26-year-old lecturer like this...)

I cannot register for his class, unfortunately because I did good in that class last time and adding my points from his class wouldn't really help my marks. But still, I'm sitting-in for the sake of his "Hidayah". *laughs*

lazing around..

Exams are done and I'm just simply hanging around in my room listening to loud echoes of Russian words, I could never compete from speaking plain English. Things has been quite fast this semester and my parents can barely wait for me going home. God, I was having this group discussion in the library with my Economics classmates when my sister rang me just to ask if I got her a Malay comic book already. And my brother on the other hand is having PMS. Well, yeah..it's so wrong to describe him that way but he's really grumpy these days that when Hanie passed the phone to him, he just quickly mumbled stuffs over the phone without hearing me say anything. Rude much? Well, I understand engineering is not that easy, but por pabor, you don't wanna be old in this early age, right?

Anyways, Midterm is done and I've been expecting crazy assignments and frustrating deadlines soon. Yeah, I know, the life of a student. Sad, huh? *sob*

This blog is getting really boring - I can feel it - and I don't know when this would be updated again but this won't be the last update, I swear - if laziness won't conquer me! *laughs*

from CFS, IIUM students killings in Gaza

Start from small and make it big and powerful. The contribution of each one of you will mean a lot to the victims of Gaza. We should condemn Israel for destroying the rights of living people in Palestine. Despite the differences in religion, beliefs, and power, humanity should be put as priority. STOP BUYING US and UK products, which donate their profits for Israel military.

visit this website:


http://www.inminds.com/boycott-brands.html




It has been a good deed to care for other people, no matter how small or big. God knows who sincerely sympathize to our brothers and sisters in Gaza city as the war is still going on. The small thing you can do means a lot to the victims of the oppression in Palestine.

Thank you for your time and support, it is well appreciated.

for better or for worst?

Well, I haven't told you about Uri, I suppose. He is a really quiet guy and I can figure he's also shy the first time I met him. We share an extra class for Arabic part 1 before and that is just about our communication. We don't talk that much, or even actually talk before. But it never occur to me to hate him even if he doesn't look so friendly or entertaining. All he needs is a friend, I kept on telling myself.

And yes, after a few sems, he really got the confidence to socialize with people and to actually speak English very well compared before. You can really see how magical his revolution was as you talk to him. And so, this sem I share three classes with him. After his "revolution", we chat most of the time we meet now and got really close. I think it's fine being friends with him because aside from the fact that he's nice and he can SmS me whenever the class is cancelled, I can also get to know how guys like him think. But making friends with him isn't much of an advantage for me, but his.

We have this "competition thing" in our quiz marks for Stats. Every before a quiz, he would ask me if I'm ready enough and I would proudly say my slimy 'yes'. And you know how it goes when the lecturer started giving away the results in class, of course, everyone could see and begins asking you what you got. He would always, always be the one to ask my results but I would ask him for a trade of papers - like kids who don't want to be cheated - and he would agree. And it wasn't such a good move because he got higher than me, I didn't expect. Argh, and the cheek of the silly guy, he grinned at me fishily and laughed. He thinks it so cool that he actually announced his marks. Hah. I should've known!

OK. The next quiz result came out today and I know he scoured, and so I thought of myself as well. But - ummphh - I kind of didn't (score, I mean) and his quick, sharp eyes saw my marks and went like, "I thought you're prepared for the quiz?" I don't know if it was a question or what. But it doesn't felt so red. Man, the cheek!

And now one of my Don'ts when seeing him is not to walk with himevery after Stats class.