Myself after 4 years..

I'm quite pessimistic about my future. Would I be rich?? Would I marry the guy I've been dreaming of my whole life?? But this are all idealistic. I know. But one prediction is just an inch away from reality, I will look like this sooner or later.

I won't (or will never) miss our fardo ain class!

Yeah..in this class, no thinking required! You can just come and go, provided that you sign up your name for the attendance..and go! But if you choose to stay, you'll get bored (for sure!), but the lecturer wouldn't notice..and you'll continue to be bored..and yawn..til you sleep--finally! Well, if you don't wanna believe me, check out Bass* as a living proof (bottom right)! *laughs*

I feel no poetry

Poetry is one of the oldest way of art where you express yourself in terms of words, which I, in my younger age used to indulge (but not anymore). But it needs a whole lot of inspiration, really, to come up with what we actually called, the poem. How can you come up with something worth reading for if don't make sense?

But I won't be blogging about poetry. In fact, I wanna talk about inspiration since poetry, like I said a while ago, needs tons of inspiration. This is the kind of inspiration that doesn't come easily. It just suddenly pop out from nowhere, and then, TADDAH! *insert gospels here* yeah..I was just wondering how the hell do all these great poets got their ideas. I mean, not all of them lost homes or an orphan since birth, to come up with such brilliant ideas that are being used in lots of literature books as references today and will be in the future.

I'm sorry, for the doses of questions. Maybe you're what's up with all these sudden questions? It's because I need an inspiration. I wanna ba something worth turning pages for like a really interesting book you just can't let go.

In short, I'm uninspired.

I hate rushing..but I'm getting lazy day by day!

time check:
It's exactly 23 mins. before my statistics will start. But where am I? In my bed, typing my blog. Hah. Talk about laziness! It's overruling my body for a week now! I used to wake up 1 hr. before class, but now, even if it's quarter to the alloted time, you still won't see me rushing my tudung on! Damn. I hate this laziness! But what should I do to get rid of it??

Tough luck, my class will start in about 15 minutes from now!!! ciao!

My Depreciated Deed..

Oh my God..it's Monday again--my most full-packed day of the whole week! And I know I'll be busier the whole week days because of the up coming Hisbah Night when we're supposed to decorate and our room a day before the official night. But did we do anything? Of course not. I couldn't be bothered to. I just don't get the whole decorating concept. I mean, cleaning is reasonable enough to be imposed obligatorily, but decorating? Nah..I had enough last sem and I don't wanna decorate for nothing anymore! (well, I hope they have prizes for the most ugliest room, maybe we have a chance! *giggles*)

Yeah..well, my Monday is actually the usual one, except for the sudden cancellation of our Arabic Class that has been announced whole wide through SmS. Who wouldn't, anyway? Everybody parties when Arabic Class is cancelled. So, I did a small deed of telling my old guy pals by telling them that the class is, indeed, cancelleed.

I went up to my room, merrily eating my vastly inflated lunch from no other than, Kawa Thai. Then, as I finished my meal, my roommate told me that the class wasn't cancelled, and it wasn't cancelled at all! HUH?? I thought twice; "Didn't Faz** just told me that it was cancelled?" Out of confusion, I went to another classmate's room. And it wasn't cancelled and Jene** herself confirmed me. Argh. Damn, I have to change, now.

So I quickly told my roomies of the sudden explosion of the massive news and laughed as Anna**'s sighed: "Aww..really?" (insert scratching of the head here)

Of course I thought of telling the other guys that the class was resumed again, but I indirectly delivered the news. Instead of texting them at once, I sent the message to someone I know is close to them (who's our classmate as well, let's call him "The Messenger") and will convey the message later on. And because I personally like this "Messenger", I didn't have any second thoughts of passing the forwarded message.

I came to class panting because of the predictable hotness of the weather. And, surprise, surprise! The guys are not there, but the "Messenger" is here. Where are they? I thought, maybe they're still taking their sweetest time walking across the field. Then, an hour later, B** called angrily yelling over the phone looking for me and bellowing my name like I stole a chicken or something! My God. What's up with this people? Didn't I told them (well, indirectly , though) that the class is on?!

I was humiliated by the yelling. But a half of my body is telling me to know why that neaderthal-ish guy is yelling his lungs out. I asked the "Messenger" at the end of the class if he did tell them, and guess what? The Messenger said, "NO", flatly. So insensitive! He came himself not telling anybody and he just looked at me for emphasis that I'm actually there and walked away. I hate him! ARGH!!! (OK, calm down..)

Oh my God. No wonder that close-minded, neanderthal-ish guy is mad. But if you think of it, it wasn't my fault (right?). Argh. I hate it when I try to convince myself to be innocent. But the thing is, they reacted so childlishly withou having me explain my side and even if I do, they won't get my point. Why? God knows. But one thing's certain, we won't talk for the good two weeks of distrust but in peace.

No place like home..

After my first paper is actually the official holidays that we will be savoring though it's just a week! Who wouldn't, anyway? So, yeahh..when all the girls are going home, we're watching them leaving (as usual!). To tell you, we're really immune to people passing by and merrily leaving the miserable Nilai. Well, it's a sad, sad story indeed that we've got no where to go but Gombak (the main campus)as our sanctuary in this whole stranger's world.

But, naah! Enough of the drama. It's enough that even though I'm in a different country, I still got the hold on to my ever supportive country mates who gave me the comfort only a home can offer. After all, there's no place like home, right? That's why even though we hate it when our mom keeps on asking us "where are you going?", whenever we wanna hang-out with your gals with the memorized answer: "at school and I'll be back before late", we still miss it. And even though how annoyed you are when your little sister put the channel to Barney or Hanna Montana (I'm personally get this one!) while your watching your favorite drama series, you will still be missing those times and wish that you would've just let her watch that stupid show, instead of throwing toy crackers on her face!

It's funny how things come like this dramatic to me. I mean, I'm no so sweet when it comes to dealing with my little sister, let me tell you. I'm actually closer to my friends at school than to my own sister and that explains the huge gap between us since primary school. We're 4 years apart. She's boyish and I'm on the "pinky side" of femininity. We went to different schools and we used to like the same guy when I was in my 10Th Grade. Awkward much? I know. There's nothing more awkward than having your lil sis falling for the same guy you like. But the thing is, the guy liked me when I finally lost my interest on him. And the drama began. My sis likes him more and more, at the same time, he was already courting me! Argh. I don't wanna break my sis' heart so I prefer not to tell her coz I know I'll turn the guy down sooner or later. But the surprising part is when she found out about it, she gave the way and told me to give him a chance. Aww..then I realized how selfish am I to keep such a secret when never knew that she's dying at the other end! But like I said, I turned the guy down and I felt better.

Since then we got closer unlike before. We share everything we have, shoes, clothes, money, you name it! And before I left for Malaysia, we both had a great time shopping for the stuffs I'll be carrying along the way. I really miss my sister. My only sister. And I keep on telling my self when I get back the first I'll do is to take her out to--what a girl wants--shopping! haha..

It's not easy to be away form home especially if your not used to it. It wasn't that hard for at first coz I'm really used to be away from home and my parents are out for work. But being gone from their sight for almost a year now (and your damn young), it's a challenge I never knew I have to struggle from.

My First Paper..

Hah. of all the dreaded subjects, Maths came first in queue of my exam lists! God, I'm totally motivating myself to study. For the first time (as far as I'm concern), I devoted my whole week for Maths. To tell you, I'm not really into burning my eyebrows for such subjects, especially Maths and for the fact that it's just trigonometry. But this one drove me crazy (you totally don't wanna know the details). And now I'm paying back for my careless days..

It was 5pm when Sandy (my roommate) was nervously throwing in her blue tudung, standing in front of our floor-length mirror and slowly spoke:

"I'm nervous..", she said so slowly, you can even consider it a whisper.

And what a friend can offer? I just said:
"Don't be, it'll be fine.", hoping I didn't sound like a mom.

Argh. I'm getting nervous as well, I should've just shut up. Damn.

After a few minutes, we're ready to head our way to MPN for the most awaited paper. And guess what? It was damn hot (oh well, it wasn't much of an intelligent guess, I suppose) but my hands are damn cold. When we arrived in the Hall, I sat next to A (one of the..shall I say, the Maths geniuses of my batch!) who was staring blankly in the space and beyond. " Maybe she's concentrating," I thought.

Everybody looks so jittery to get their fingers on the paper to get it over and done with. The paper was quite challenging (or so for someone like me, it was challenging), but for A who didn't seem so challenged at all, passed the paper in 30 mins. out of 1 and a half hours of torture and everybody turned their backs as she left the torture chamber. Whoa. That was quick! And I was surprised for the first time, she sighed. (She's no straight-faced geek after all!). Then, followed by her country mate who I don't think is that interested to finish the time rendered as she used to do.

Tick tack..tick tack..

I can feel the pressure of the ticking clock.

"5 mins. more.", said the invigilator flatly.

I quickly scanned my paper, in case i missed an item blank. And.. At last! The whole torture time of the day is over! I passed my paper with a sigh. uh. " It's okey..", I reminded myself. Sandy and Faz turned to me and we were dismissed.

"The paper was fine! It was ok. argh!But I missed the number..", Faz was explaining in details as we were exiting the hall but I can no longer her. My head is still into the paper--refreshing my memory of the items I left blank..when suddenly..

"Hey!", a hand popped-out of my view.

It was Kyle, the Bruneian guy (err..boy).
"How was it??!", he cried curiously. I tried to be polite and entertained him for a while though I don't really wanna talk about the whole "exam thing".

Then, we walked pass the convenient shop and i saw some other familiar faces whom I know will ask about the exam. So I tried to walk like normal, neglecting the fact that I know those human figures. And..there, I found my sanctuary in my bed as the 'chicken little' design was cheerfully grinning at me.

Ahh..I'm done with it! My whole week of frustrations and disappointments were all thrown away to that hall..and that 6-paged paper..and I feel GOOD! Oh, thank God it's Saturday the following day..

Success is counted Sweetest..

UCCESS is counted sweetest

By those who ne'er succeed.

To comprehend a nectar

Requires sorest need.




Not one of all the purple host

Who took the flag to-day

Can tell the definition,

So clear, of victory,




As he, defeated, dying,

On whose forbidden ear

The distant strains of triumph

Break, agonized and clear.

A poem from my all time favorite poet, Emily Dickinson.

AAARGGHH!!! I'm running MAD!!!

I'm not even in the right age to drive and marry but the madness police is gradually knocking on my doorstep to arrest me for committing madness. I'm mad. Please forgive for telling you late, my dear blogger. Forgive me that you've been reading entries of a mad teenage girl's page all these time. Yeah..mad as it is. I'm not quite ashamed that I am one. Coz I know you'll be one as well as soon as you finish reading this entry and actually comprehended my real madness.

These thought of me knowing I'm mad is killing me. Why? Oh for God's sake! It's like knowing you have leukemia and your days are already counted, and you don't have any way with it! It's incurable. It's frustrating. It's got to be accepted.

You might be wondering why this girl is still writing on her blog yet she's mad. Huh. Don't wonder, coz I'm mad. My madness is giving me the adrenaline to activate my brain in a weird but useful way, unlike the usual madness. It's killing me, yes. But it's also my source of strength and will to finish my freaking course! Yes, you got it right. I'm savouring my sanity to figure out how to pass my core courses. And it's not that I hate my core courses that I just wanna pass them, but because there's nothing I can do with it. If I push my self more, I'll break the limit and I won't be able to write into my precious cyber spotlight anymore. You'll just found out that my nurse will telling you, my dear blogger, that I'm under observation.

Whoa. I totally blew it out! The oppressed thoughts of mine have been in caved for so long that I can't even reckon it's been a month. But never mind. That's why my loving blogger is still reading my entries, right? To reach out to me--well, I hope you won't say I have to stop blogging coz my entries have nothing to do to help Hilary Clinton win anyway--and feel my madness--but not too much! I'm infectious.

I love blogging and I won't stop blogging even though I'll be mad.

And because I know you love me...

Guys are not inspirations.

July has been a long month for me, unlike June. And now we're about September. I was busy welcoming a whole lot of changes in my new sem last June -- and yes,I consider it as one of my merriest month of the year--and whole lot of intentional lateness every Arabic class and frustrations in Maths were all worth of my ever tiring half sem. But I really had fun, actually. Saying goodbye to our lazy days during the short sem wasn't that easy but saying "hi" to the numbers is quite a challenge! Oh God, time flies so fast when your having fun! I didn't even notice that it's been three months since a blur vision of love ( if you can call it love) came up to me in an annoying packaging of a skinny guy who don't even consider English as a significant language but just something you should pass at school. And from the start I know, things won't work between us. As quick as it came, I failed to realize it's gone.

But I'm off to think about guys these days as a strike for all my mishaps that I never cared to learn from. I still have 'eye-candies' (*laughs*) and I'm not an "anti-guys", though. I'm just being practical! "Muslim Women must be strong!", as our animated Fardo Ain lecturer would love to say it. Things have fallen into place somehow. If he's not for you, so be it. There are lots more! And I was really happy he's gone because, honestly, brats are really a pain in the neck! But my experience left me a notebook scribblings since all girls must know that:

1. First in for most: Not to date a spoiled brat.

He's rich, yeah. He can give whatever you want. You can reach those places only in your dreams you thought to be going. But take note that he always wants something in return, if you know what I mean!

2. Don't go for jocks.

If hotness was all your looking for in a guy, well, I can't blame you if you fall for jocks. But if all it pays is sweat and body odor, oh puh-please (insert hand gestures here)!

3. Don't date first year guys at all.

They're still in the progress of maturity and think so junior high-ish which practically remind me of Jonas Brothers. What a babe! *laughs*

4. Always put your standards high.

Come on, you won't dream of cutting the potatoes instead of going to the grand ball like Cinderella does, right? We're not in the fairy tales and we can't always have a fairy godmother to sort out our miseries. We have to make our choices straight and practical.

And that's basically how my miserable love life thought me how to, not to forget, but be practical when it comes to perverted male species.

Inferiority Complex

Inferiority complex.

I've always known I have one since I started going to primary school. Before, I don't know what it's called since I've never been aware that it's something killing me inside. I continued going to school with the feeling of being so small among all the students of my age. I have friends, yes. There's no question about that. After all, I'm practically friendly. But the thought that I'm the smallest and the youngest in my class (actually all of my classes when I was in primary school) and not that smart, made me feel I'm different. Different in a way that I'm out of place.

But my loving Mom will always tell me that I'm special and that people have different characteristics. She never, ever dared to say the word "different" to connote that I'm an introvert, but I know deep inside that I'm different, if not to end up an introvert--what else would I be? " she's just telling me this because I'm her daughter", I thought.

I never figured out how to defeat my inferiority complex as the years pass by (because I actually don't know how). Now that I'm 17, pretty more matured than I was in primary school. I know now that inferiority complex is another way of saying you have a low self-esteem. I keep on telling myself that it will just give me the feeling of negativity, alienation and irritation. And so I stopped thinking about it.

But it keeps on coming back. After my Maths class, I consulted my lecturer about my failed first, Maths quiz (yeahh, I know, shame!). She taught me the right answers and how to come up with those solutions, I just nodded to all the solutions. Then suddenly, she looked at me in the eyes with large, black eyes surveying my whole face..and asked:

"Do you feel inferior?", she's still staring.

"I..I guess so...", I said as if it was my first time to figure out that i do have it.

And so my straight-faced but a concerned lecturer told me her story of inferiority. She told me that she was a failure, not just in English but also in Maths. She used to feel inferior that girls of her age solves the mathematical problems in no time, leaving her still solving in the middle step. "Who wouldn't be envy? They're so clever!", she quoted. Yeahh..I get her. If those girls finished faster than her, her lecture will call out for a "faster" call to those still solving--that cracks me out, bacause I have to solve it even faster. Then she told me that she failed her English Qualification Exam for students going abroad, and that she strive so hard to pass it on her second try.

Well, her voice of experience are just so realistic and inspiring, but what stroked me the most is the her first question that brought up the whole topic. Yes, I do feel inferior. But I'm somehow blessed that I have good people behind me. I mean, not all children who discovered they're different or they don't excel in a field most children do (like playing sports or solving maths problems), have trustworthy and loving friends and family with them to tell them they are not that bad after all.

"The roots of all my inferiority is a small piece of crap", I digested this one to boost my confidence. So Why am I keep on thinking about it in the first place?

I've learned my lessons in the hard way. In a way that only time can mend. I've learned that people are good in different fields of skills and that I just happen to be not so good in Maths. All I have to do is to pat myself to conscious efforts on the back for the things I do well. I don't need to always come in first to be the best.

And I guess it's a good start of motivation to any of you who has the same kind of inferiority that I do. Oh! There you go! My first dramatic entry. haha..that's it for now. Ciao!

cleaning night!

Well, It's good to be back on my Cyber spotlight where I have the liberty to speak out whatever it is that's bugging my "tinee-tiny" head! haha..yeahh..well, things are quite busy these days because of my a somehow demanding core course where I have to practice most of the time in computing the damn hard problems! But still, life is sweet as it is despite of the bitterness of pressure trying to conquer me. I mean, even though I'm sucking all the Maths and Accounting problems every week to improve my brain's logical capacity, I always have a spare moment to unwine and hang out with my roomies.

7Th of July was my Jene's (it's a Kyrgyz word I love to call her) 19Th birthday. We decided to have a small dinner like how we usually celebrate birthdays. And yeahh..I know another year older, which we actually bother to count every single moment in our lives even though we practically know we'll be older as it's nature.

And just as we came back from having our dinner, merrily laughing as we climb up in the stairs, when suddenly, our room Mushrifa reminded us for the room clean-up operation for tomorrow. Gosh! Why does she has to ruin the time of our lives? Well, anyway..she ought to remind us..coz some people really need to be reminded--like somebody I know.

So, we cleaned to room in the night we agreed to do so. We divided ourselves into 3 teams: 1 team in the toilet, 1 in the bed room and 1 in the study room. I was ready to clean the toilet when a beaming Jo came up to me, almost wanted to say: "I'll do it!", and so i chose the study room instead. We removed all our belongings under our beds and in the study room to make way for the brooms to sweep away the stock of dusts that's scattered around our full house. And yeahh, there are like 20 of us in the room now, let me tell you.

We were all taking our time wiping and brushing whatever that it is that we have to wipe and brush, when a girl as skinny as ever whom we always call SG (and darling, the meaning will always be a secret i'll never tell), asked if she can leave already coz she has a meeting. And the thought of looking for D was brought up since she's the 2nd skinniest girl in the room. Where she is? God knows. Can you imagine 19 of your roomies are cleaning, 1 left for another important business, and you're no where to be found doing you thing--knowing that you have to with them cleaning? Oh boy--shame!

So mush for D's laziness. We sweep and mop, sweep and mop the floor in the bed room--and lastly, we brushed it. Yes, you read it right, we brushed it. Actually it was an 11th hour discussion that they want to walk bare foot inside the bed room, so, they themseleves volunteered to brush it thoroughtly. Then that means--SHOES OFF! I salute them. They're really hard working. Shame on me coz I never knew!

In roughly 2 hours, we're proud enough to say that our room in newly polished. Oh God, it feels good to feel clean. Everyone automatically arranged back their things to where they belong. The mats, the bed sheets, the shoes--specially the shoes. Then for a moment I felt really tired! haha..

But it was all worth it. All the sweat and dusts are all worth it! Our room is cleaner than ever now! Compared to the first we cleaned it.

I'm satisfied.

Amiecha's 20th Birthday!

Hey there connivers! It's Miecha's birthday last 25th of June. And yes, she's a gaining a year older again as normal people do, she's 20 now! Woohoo! The age nearing to legalism--though she turned 18, two years ago, there are still such things she can't do. Like what? Let me think? Ummp..driving? Hah. Yeahh..you got it right! She bumped into this--someone else's car (I'm not really sure, but surely, it was a bad bump) while she was on a test drive. Haha..well, our Miecha finally now has her own wheels now, however she can't drive it yet! haha..Now that she's a year away from independence, I wonder what's the first thing she'd do??

But let's don't get too far yet. Let's focus unto something near for now, It's her birthday! haha..last 24th day of June at nigh, we--me and the rest of my old roomies-- stayed unusually up at that night to having our midnight snack. We were just randomly reading our textbooks, some are reading novels they borrowed from the lib, gossiping and some are just plainly eating! Then, when Henny fall to check that it was exactly 12:01am, everybody stared and exchanged sheepish smiles at Miecha. Yeahh..it's not everyday that you turn 20, isn't? But it's not the reason were staring..it's because..She's OLD now! haha..we loved to tease her that she's old but she never gets pissed off though the truth hurts! haha..

We sang a very lousy Happy Birthday song and give her a very big bear hug!

But before anything else, of course were aware that it was her birthday on the 25th. So Henny and I planned weeks ago of what to give our beloved Miecha. First, the idea of black spider brooches came. But then, se has a lot already. Then, we thought of a book. A novel maybe..but her taste of books never matches our "pre-teen" (as she loves to quote it) taste. And finally, we decided of buying a cake. A rectangular chocolate cake made from Secret Recipe with the greeting:

"Happy Birthday Miecha..love BT :)", which we know that will really piss her off but still will be eating it since it's not as dangerous as the said sender's fangs! haha..

However, our evil plan didn't work out, as our schedules and financial problems weren't settled until the day of Miecha's birthday. So we tried to plan another evilness by asking her out for dinner with FBB and BT (of course BT is not in the first plan but we decided to why not, anyway). It's gonna be a laugh, we thought! Then suddenly, the night before the event, she casually said that she wanna have dinner with the girls (meaning the resident A1-1's before). So who are we to clash her plans?

The night in her birthday, Hazel** and I decided to ditch the Committee meeting for a dinner with he girls. We ate at Tea Box, a really gloomy and remote resto you can find at the back of block E and an intersection from Block G. It's merely the last resto at back of Block E so no one really eat there, unless they really wanna eat and all the restos in a hundred meter walking distance are filled with the Juniors!

We have no choice but to seat our fluffy butts there and sunk in to the gloominess of the place. Although three of our old roomies weren't there, we managed to enjoy by criticizing the lady in one of the oldest and yuckiest MTV on earth ever made! haha..

But one thing's weird, we never took photos! How could we live?! Goodness. We laughed a lot, I guess that's why the thought of capturing the moment was totally forgotten.

Miecha's last words:

" I'm happy that I enjoyed my last year of teenage with you guys. And I think there's nothing wrong with getting old with you."

Aww..and that day Henny promised not to tease Miecha about BT for the rest of the day! (at least just for a day!)

core courses + new lecturers + all new classmates / SHORT-y = NEW SEM!!!

Oh my dear bloggers! I'm here once again to share some of my frustrations and madness, now that new sem has entered!

My Core Courses!

Im really excited for my 1st core courses this sem that consists of: Accounting I, Maths I, and Statistics! Among all, Accounting is the only subject I don't have any background of. Gosh! Who would say I would end up in Accounting , anyway!? haha..They say that Accounting is really boring and that most of the students taking it for their first core course never get A. But for me, it really depends upon you. Though I'm still on the level of knowing the fundamentals of Accounting, I can say that learning is really lasts by heart. And that's what I'm aiming this new sem: "Learn everything, even though how hard it is, by heart". And mind you, it really helps! (my Arabic class is one good example.) Good luck to me! :)

+ New Lecturers!

Yup! Next to my subjects, my lecturers are always my next stop. You won't go spending the rest of 4 hours every week per subject with some boring lecturers that talks 500 words a minute, right? That's my main purpose of going to class in the very first day. Hah. I would check out how they deal with their students. how can they help us gain some knowledge? are they sarcastic? do they gabble? Gosh. Seriously, there are some lecturers I now that gabbles a lot and they don't even notice it. Try telling them and they'll give you the looks saying; "one more minute".

But I'm so happy we have really nice lecturers who all belong to the Tudung L***** Clan a.k.a. TLC! haha..They're really cool and open-minded..and they make things easier and comprehensive to the students! Goodness! Though they're TLC, they Rock! Hope for my next core courses (specially in Maths II), at least one of them would be my lecturer!

+ All New Classmates!!!

As you all know, this sem is the 1st sem open of IIUM for the juniours who just graduated from High School. That's why most of my new classmates are new intakes a.k.a. the juniours (which I don't are any younger than me)! Oh God, I was hoping for some yummy eye-candies tehm sem, but them seem to be not that mouth-watering than I was expecting it to be!

On the other hand, I have my old roomies with me, namely: Fareeha, Amy, Jo, Aisulu (just for Arabic and and BTQ) with almost all of my sujects!!! Nyahaha!!! Then that means, I can have my own living alarm clock! I can nwon't be late again (or at least just for some times) and people won't be talking to me in an alien language! hehe..kidding..but i'm really thankful their around, and thank Goodness to the Department of Econs for this marvelous idea of putting all the international students taking the same courses, in the same group! Things are getting tougher now, but with them beside me, I feel safe.

/ SHORT-y..

There's this guy I knew since last sem because of my roomies' annoying giggles of "OHMIGAWWD!"...so I join in their circle to know the cause of 'Ohmigawding'..and turns out that this particular guy their referring to is, ummhp..how do you say..short. What's the big deal?, I thought. So mean that they're laughting at him behind his back coz he's short. But when I saw him walking with my, not-so-short friend--but I figure is the shortest among all the guys I know--I was convinced, he's really (OUCh! I know.) short.

So what's the bigger deal? Well, let's say it this way, he.is.my.classmate! Yup! For this sem, I'll be seeing him everyday, to all of my core courses! Goodness. Not to be mean, but I'm not comfortable of having him around. Especially when he started to be close to my sort-of-bf, he kind of lingers around the open air since then! AND.IT'S.ANNOYING! I'm not about all the short-y-ness, Im short as well, ok! But it really bothers me when he's around. Gosh, I'm running mad.

= NEW SEM!!!

I'm looking forward of scoring high this sem. After all, aiming and dreaming is free of charge! hehe..I wanna live my matric days to he fullest, as three of my beloved roomies are leaving this sem for Gombak. But "no worries", keep on telling myself. I'll be going there (main campus) soon and live together again all in one room! Woow!

I know i'll be extremely missing them since it's never been the same without them, but for now, we'll have fun! We'll ROCk this new sem! hahah..

GOOD LUCK TO US!!! :)

20 OBVIOUS SIGNS That a Pretty Boy Likes My Bestie!

Hey there! It's good to be back! The Taa'ruf week is over and class resumed for a week now. But I can still smell the blossoms of love in air during the last week's holidays..

What am I talking about? Well, if your a big fan of observing like me, it won't be hard for you notice that someone, so well featuered guy is up to something more friendlier. Henny (well, I'd practically be dead if I spill out her name on an online public diary) and I were always together. Specially this past few weeks that we stayed for the holidays for the Taa'ruf week. That's why it's really hard for me to not notice that Fbb lingers around us.

Let's go straight to the point, there's a pretty boy named Fbb (why Fbb? that's a secret i'll never tell), whom we used to think is a gay! hehe..actually, I was happy to hear that he's not gay coz he's--I admit it, cute (with that perfectly trimmed, white, beaming teeth of his? oh God.). And for such a gift like that, it's really a turn off to know that he belongs to the 3rd sex! Thank God he's not. But there's another thing that's bothering me..and I think my instincts are true..that FBB..is in Love with Henny..

And Im ready to bet my 20 theories that this preety boy is trully, madly, crazy in love with you Henny!

20 OBVIOUS SIGNS That a Pretty Boy Likes My Bestie!

1. He want to walk with her.

- Woohoo! I guess this is a ramdom one. Every guy has this first move to their girls. I mean, you know, its basic principle is to know if the girl is taller than the guy. And for their case, their on the same height. Saved!

2. He asks her out. (DUH?)

-speaking of random, asking out a.k.a. dating is another obvious sign, for God's sake! I mean, most guy's don't just ask their girl friends for a lunch, and specifically state he just want to have it with you!

3. He gives (or even steals) you stuffs that you don't even ask for, and that he can just rather give it to the needy than to you.

-OK. I know it's not so sweet if I tell you that Fbb stole some dinner package in the counter to impress Henny. But he really did! hehe..poor Fbb..he got my symphaty..but not in stealing, dude!

4. He asks he's friend to come along with them for lunch to--to cover up the fact that, that lunch was his dream date! hah.

-you see, UIA is an Islamic Uni and that coupling (which is practically not a word they just made of to describe dating in another form) is totally prohibited. So what are friends are for? To back them up, of course!

5. He admires her features.

-OK. It's really sweet of him to call her Angelina Jolie look-a-like when he noticed her ala Angie lips of hers. But degrading my being by calling me a kampung girl is not so sweet Fbb! Anyway, that just shows that he can only appreciate Henny's distinctive features! hehe..

6. He stares at her.

-Gosh. This one might sound like a stalker, but he really stares ala Nate Archivald as his piercing eyes where darted to, who else..Henny!

7. He miscalls to call her attention!

-well, what really is the main purpose fo miscalling? To know if she's using the right phone number? But this just lack of attention, im sure!

8. He calls her princess. (Eww!!! Yuckidyyuck!!!)

-I know it's gross but it's called 'romantic' in those times when Tokyo used to be called Edo. Ninjas are dying to protect their other halves whom they love to call 'princess'. Aww..but now I'm wondering if Fbb is really 19 or if he lived million years ago?!

9. He perves on her! Hah.

-even though your playing the lamest sport on earth which you lazily refuse to contribute yourself fully, is not buying his way out from perving at you! And denies to be perving by saying:

" I just passed by here (the parking space) and I saw you're playing badminton! :)", which is kind a lame coz you can only see people inside if you intently look at them!

10. He sms' with the smiley face at the end.

- Again, I don't like this move. But this crap is intended to brighten up someone's day, so Fbb really did a research to do such a move! haha..

11. He hints her on his messages.

-poor thing..Fbb sends Henny message like:

" I'm totally free right now! :) (again with the smiley face!)", meaning he wants you to say something or even show that he said a general statement saying he wants you to care.

12. He can't look at her in the eye.

-whenever they're seated together or their walking somewhere, he can't look at her! haha..

13. He sounds like he's asking permission to you to where he's going.

-like you were his girlfriend err..more like a mom as he states his daily routine to you. Where he's going, what the hell is he doing there..you name it! In short, he's reassuring you that your he's only girl and that he's a good boy! hehe..

14. He acknowledges her presence.

-emphasized the word BOTH when he saw me and Henny walking near him one day, to distinguish the fact that he wants her presence, not mine, and her ALONE!

15. He teases her.

-whoever suggested that teasing game is a good stepping stone to a blossoming puppy love, I salute you!

16. But he's afraid to make her angry.

-Like most guys do, they tease you 'til you're brain come out and had nothing to say but "LEAVE ME ALONE!". However, when they show symphaty to your mood, he so like you, girl!

17. He apologizes millions and millions of times.

- he begs for your forgiveness countless times even though you already told him you're fine and you don't look pissed at all.

18. He asks me random questions to make me busy whereas he's not paying attention to my speech at all.

-He noticed one of the trustworthy chaperons is bored so he nicely interrogated her. But the whole time that I was talking to him, his just physically there on his seat but his soul is with the feminine figure beside me.

19. He loves her around.

-my partner for emceeing nicely told me to get loss since she can handle things on her own. But Fbb purposely gave Henny a job to keep her around in a matter of 20 meters away!

20. He sees her everywhere!!!

- this sign is the most lunatic theory that this pretty boy is crazy about her, coz It's not normal that he sees her everywhere! But if you ask me 'How'? I say, by secretly checking her out. Simple as that.

Now I can really feel the end of my life. Please send my love to all of love ones..Mama, Nana, Hanie, MJ..I love you all!!! Im sorry I can't go home next summer in Philippines coz my time has come...

Bye unfair World..Henny's gonna kill me any minute now..

POKA!

Your Mortal Enemy

College Life is really tough, indeed. Frustrating exams, full-packed schedule, grumpy lecturers, annoying classmates..and tons and tons of assignments! But if you think they're your best enemies for winning a heavy-weight belt of college fun--boy, think again! Things are harder to accomplish if they're totally near to accomplishment. Things that can talk and refuses to understand the logic of humanity are not robots. What am I talking about? Actually, it's a 'Who?'... your roommate of course!

Not all roomies are meant to be best friends forever like what we saw on the telies. Sometimes it could be really hard to deal with your roomie, specially if she/he happens to be not the most rational person on earth and fails to be polite and persuades you to go her way. Well, it'll be fine if he/she persuades you, but if he/she boastfully take your chance to choose -- that's another thing!

Why am I talking about this? Recently, we moved back to our original dorms as the class will be resuming in a matter of 2 days. But before we left our undesirable room, we plastered our names desperately to the beds of our choice (seriously, one thing you need to be reminded of is to pick the best bed ever in order to survive in Nilai). And so, I picked the bottom bunk in the middle of the room, complete with all the benefits, of course. hehe..coz you know since last sem (short sem), I've been dying to have the bottom bed near the outlets, not--even a meter--near the toilet (PUH-PLEASE! I am not, in any cases, would be eating inside the room if I happen to fall on the ugliest bunk ever! With the condition of our toilet? never mind. ), the light centered on it and most of all, near the FAN! (hah!) Well, it's new sem after all. Meaning: new beds, new tables, and new lockers. So we're free to choose!

Moving on..we finally moved back and unpacked our stuffs. OH, it's good to be back! haha..I was about to unpack when one of my old roomie, Alena (her unpopular name,of course), came as she heard that we're moving back. She was surprised that all the nice-situated beds were all booked, leaving only one bottom bunk against the wall and the top bunks. She walked from the entrance door of the room to the toilet, back and forth, surveying the condition of every single beds. And when she finally stopped at the bed by the wall, I thought she would settle with it. But NO. Her and her some sort of country mate, pulled the bed out from the corner, took off all the mats along the way and squeezed the poor double-decker bed in the tiniest space she can possibly squeeze it in. Letting the vision of her future beddie of scratching her butt against another bed, making it impossible for her to climb up.

But I was greatful she realised how horrific her idea was that she decide to move it again to the other side of the room. Ohmigod! Did I just said other side the room? Then that means, it's my side. And yes, she asked my permission first to put her bed in between the 2 beds, which means she wanna take the portion intended for my locker and combine our lockers in the corner by the door. At first I don't like the idea, but I agreed anyway. Her and her partner in crime since last sem picked new tables in the study room which basically is owned by the resident girls already.

The next day, our other roomies came and complained about the really small space in climbing up. (Goodness! they barely know that it s old place was worst than that) And serious arguments occurred.

The first girl went like:

" huh? are they crazy?!! What did they do??" (meaning, us. I've learned to figure out that it's us they're talking about when they say THEY), as she dropped her laugage dramatically.

The second girl was fortunately a calm one, and just said:

"What happened?", as she look around until her dark eyes reached mine, but all I can do is to look at Alena. (Shhish! Why is it harder to explain the unfair truth to such a sweet and calm person like A**??)

Then Alena headed me to the study room to sort out the glitch. I thank her for blaming me that the girl that will occupy my upper bunk is freaking kind that she can't just shut her out. Argh. I'm so pissed! I see this coming but I barely do anything. Instead, I agreed to whatever she said. But then I still didn't move. I rested my head to the comfort of my new bed coz I'm partially speech-impaired.

The next thing I know, two girls went raising their voice at each other as the old resident girl (we call "M") demanded for her old table back which the new girl (we call "S") already took (and mind you, S is really territorial that she put her picture frame on the table)!

"excuse me..I want to put my things in my table..so please move your things..", M said trying to be politely sarcastic towards S.

"I already wiped this table with powder and your things are there," she pointed to M's box under other's table.

"No. This is my table. I put my stuffs under it! You just moved it!", exclaimed M, losing her cool.

"Why? Did you buy this??!!", now finally, S lost her cool as well.

Oh my God..we can't help it if we have our own attitudes towards things that will really affect our needs, but hang on girl. Don't let selfishness eat your whole being...think not just for yourself but also for others! Coz mind you, it's hard to stay in one room with someone you barely meet the eye.

(but good thing they didn't end up on a cat fight! hehe)

My Clashed Holidays! Argh.

Im really sorry bloggers..gosh! It has been ages since I updated my blog. Well, I've been blaming my laziness and lack of interesting thoughts I can share you guys. I mean, I know it sucks to just complain on how unfair the world could be to us, right? So, since Blog is most likely a public diary, I would love to share to you all readers the latest and not so moarnful events of my life.

What's up?? I was really happy that last Friday was my last paper! haha..then that means, right after the exam, it's HOLIDAYS! I packed my stuffs the night before the exam out of my excitement! Oh God, I can't believe I've got loads and loads of things in my locker that I haven't used and never thought of using in the future. You see, that's the thing about being a shopaholic. You tend to buy and buy things that you think you like, then dump them somewhere a few weeks later as you found them no longer attractive. Gosh! Should I sell them? If only I can open a mini-garage sale in from of my room! haha..I can collaborate with my roommates if they have old or even new things that they're not using anymore! It could be a hit! haha..many girls..as long as they are girls (correct me if Im wrong)..they will surely love shopping! yeahh..I'll be known as the "Filipina-Garage-Queen" in CFS! haha..Oh my Gawdd. And Im imagining, as I deal with a girl looking for a nice pink brouch to match her pink,silk baju kurung..the Mahallah (hostel) fellow came and confiscated my products!

" I CAN summon you, you know?!!! ", exclaims the mad Mahallah leader, firmly pointing out the word summon in front of my face as I watch my products being harshly packed.

" You don't understand..", I cried as I start kneeling down in the floor, grabbing her right hand..

OK.

ENOUGH. Im just imagining it, OK. But now it's creeping me out. And the last part reminds me of Arthie from Shrek 3, as he begs the old, short-robed Merlin to cast them a spell. haha..

Moving on..Hawa and I bot the bus going to PJ at 5pm, the afternoon after the jumaat prayer. Gosh! we're so holiday-deprived and it shows as we're dying to get our ass out of Nilai as early as we can. We reached Gombak and had a dinner with Hannah (my countrymate). Then, I met A**r, Hawa's classmate in High School, with the really cute voice (that will most probably suit a 12-year-old girl). Then again, after dinner is another boring night. So we decided to plan everything first before anything else.

SATRUDAY/ June 07:

-we'll visit Jene's house to..basically, to disturb her peaceful life! haha..

SUNDAY/ June 08:
-we'll savour the moment we have to roam around Gombak campus and check-out some hot guys! haha..since it's still school days in there! and we'll eat..and then walk again..and eat once again! Oh God, we're like living in a stone age and the only thing humans do is to eat, hunt and eat some more!

MONDAY/ June 09:

-we're planning to disturb another innocent and peaceful life, Mika's house! haha..coz I haven't swim for a year now coz Im afraid to get dark! But now, im craving to soak myself in the cool water and do whatevr I want under the sun! Then, after that we're planning of having a bit of shopping and head out butts back to Nilai.

Uhu. That's basically the outline of our three-day-holiday. But it all changed on a late Saturday night, when we recieved a text message from the Taaruf Coordinator that we will have to go back for a briefing session of all The MCs. Gosh! Our plans have clashed on an early bus trip on about 6:45 on a cold Sunday morning. And it was raining for God's sake!!! I can just remember myself laughing as Hawa swear in her every step in the tarmac. I bet we're the earliest passengers ever that morning. The sky is still on its dreamy, dark blue state and you can still feel the 'ZzZzZzZ' of everybody. So far, we just managed to visit Jene's house. huhu..but it doesn't matter. What really matters is the 1 hour journey in the uber slow tube of the KTM. God, if only we have a choice, KTM would be my last option. It was a good deal of boredom that invited drowsyness to come..and yeahh we slept! The next thing we know, we're only 2 stations away from Nilai. We woke up in the station called BANGI, that happened to be BAI GI as what is written in the sign board. And what do you expect us to do? We panicked, of course! We're foreigners. There's no such thing as getting lost for us. Coz most of the time, no one can help us but ourselves! Turns out the other half of the letter N was removed because of the oldness of the sign board. haha..CRAP! Hawa's reaction really damn convinced me that we're lost! haha..

We arrived just right in time for us to grab lunch and attend the briefing . So guys, see you this Thursday and Friday morning in the field as I'll be your MC for two programs of the Taa'ruf week in Nilai.

HANG ON, i forgot: WELCOME NEWBIES!!!

ciao! ciao! ;>

Frisson??

Let me tell you of a story of one of my annoying love stories, i swear i don't want to happen again. Well, there's this guy I like from last sem..he's buff, tall, dark and (yup! u got it) handsome! haha..so much of the fairytale! He's really nice. Everybody likes him..and when I say everybody, I mean most of the girIs (the GmGs to be exact)! Oh well, I cant blame them..he came from a somewhat M*****y School where the students are known to be so disciplined and not to mention..smart!

I first met him in a dinner where we are not supposed to be going. But we went instead to accompany a friend. Ok! when the first time I saw him, I thought he's drunk. Oh c'mon! If you saw someone with a really heavy eye bags and looks at you as if you're the prettiest girl in the world (whereas ur not), of course you'll thought that he's somewhat not in conscious! hehe..alright moving on. We found it uncomfortable to hang-out with guys in that time of the night, so we just separated with them and eat to the nearest cafe'. As we finished, we found ourselves stumbling to the karaoke restobar where my not-so-good friends where..and he happens to be their friend as well! Yeahh..u see..Im really not in this world. I thought he was just someone who happens to walk with us. (I know, Im dumb) hehe..

yeahh..as the creepy night goes on, one of Sarah's (her unpopular name) friend came up to us and offered us a sit. I was about to think he's a gentleman when suddenly he offered us to have some Sh**h*! An another kind of smoke- which those guys denied to be a smoke- that originated from Dubai. (Crap! Im really missing lots of my perspectives here.) Then, he asked our names one by one like an old man. So we introduced ourselves feeling like we really wanna leave! OMG! After he asked our names, that crap never left us! He was with us the whole time, he was bubbling stories of his not-so-depressing life that he exaggeratively described as DEPRESSING and lost!

"MAKE UR MAMA PROUD!!! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!!!!", exclaimed that crazy guy, while pointing on my nose, making the other table look at me like I was an alien! It was sooooo embarrassing!!!

Crap! But the good thing about it is that he introduced us to some other guys (not as crazy as him), which happens to be **y and the guy im pertaining to I called later on "My Guy" . But my guy was so, kind of or let's face it, really high that time that he just settled down on his place and looking up as if wishing the stars will fall down on his eyes! He never talked to me taht night. whereas **y grabbed a chair and was uncomfortably leaning on me. I was told by that crazy guy a while ago that **y came from the place i used to live and turns out that he just lived there for a year.

It's really annoying to talk to **y coz he processes questions on his head slowly. When i say slowly, It's really slow!! No offense but I was really mad that.. that crazy guy let me talk to this dumb and wasted my golden 15 mins., just by waiting for him to process things on his head! Finally, Turkey called him for his turn on another round of Sh**h*. Then, the crazy guy started to fill the blank sit again by his fluffy butt and started bubbling (again). But this time, I'm crapped out! I really wanna leave. and Im glad that my friends weren't that stupid not to notice this crap going on. We said our goodbyes and went.

By the time we reached our dorm, Sarah's phone rang. It was just a missed call from someone unregistered on her phone. So we tried to call back, but the guy just simply said he happened to ring the wrong number. However, Sarah gave me the number in case he will ring any of us. I rang him the next evening and he told me his name.

The next day, I went to my 1st Arabic class. I hate this class! I feel like I was an alien for everybody. No familiar faces. No one I could really talk to. But alienism (is there such thing??) broke when my lecturer roll called our names, and I found out that he's my classmate for God's sake!!! haha..mapagbirong tadhana! Now, i had a reason to go my horrible Arabic class!

The class went 4 times a week, 2 hours a day, for 3 months! Can u imagine how often I see him for the past 3 months?? Actually, I really had the dose of him, but..still. I found myself liking him among hundreds of guys in our campus. Our communication didn't stop by just asking his name. We send each other some forwarded msgs and some creepy good nights!! There was this day when I was so bored, so i rang him. And he called back! haha..(that was unexpected..) He asked he if anything wrong or what happen . .I cant tell him I was just bored so i disturbed him, so I said I happen to press my speed dial..which is, I know, a lame excuse!

But as the day past by, we seldom talk. Suddenly there's this sort of barrier between us that forbids us to get through. I know he knew I have something for him. Duh? Of course he knows! I just didn't expect that he would act that way..and so..the frisson....ends.

im bored..

I was thinking of not updating this page for as long as it exist!! haha..but poor thing! coz what would I write?? im suffering on a writer's block now..that every thought that passess me is not absorbing my delicate, crumpled brain!

But i realized..no one would ever dare to visit this page..no one would ever take a glimpse of it..However, i'll be known as "the girl who never ever updated her blog"! haha..u think that's sad?? Nah..there's sadder than that. Like how i have to write 3 essays in 3 days time and how i have to deal with the Giggling M**** Girls (aka GmG) everyday..now that's sad! Or worse, PATHETIC!!! can you imagine socializing with them but at the back of ur mind u really wanna leave??

Oh My God! I dont know why Im having this really bad temper these days..maybe i need some sleep! (Oh wait! kabuwana ko naba?? nvr mind) Im so stressed! Can you feel me?? haha..DONT! it's so infectious you can't stand it! Anyway, 2 days from now will be holidays already..then that means?? OUTING!! yeah..i need that one! I need to get out of here and breath. I need some fresh air and some sun! haha..so this weekend i'll be spending the holidays with mah fwendz in a place called Genting Highlands. Im excited not for the fact that someone really familiar to me is coming, but because I've never been there. Everybody seems to know that place and always testifies that its realy amazing! So im like, "REALLY??". I mean, if you've heard how they testify it you would really drive to the "really mood". hehe..so yeahh..we're going this weekend .. and Im looking forward to see this particular guy I like..oh yeah! I havent told you about him!

He's someone from Far Far Away, in the kingdom of Middle Asia. He's 5'9 tall (yeah..i know im just until his chest!) and slim. He's on my class in Arabic extra class, and he's not what u call a student (if you know what i mean!). He's SO obssess with his country and he will mention it (specifiacally the name of the country) countless times until you will be forced to always change the topic whenever he provoke it! Sometimes I think he would rather marry his country than a living woman! But..ur wondering how can I stand to date him?? Well, di q alam! I dont know..all of the sudden it occured to me that I need someone to talk to.. and TADA! He's just right behind me, waiting for someone to talk to as well! Can you imagine how we shared the same disease?? It's a long story indeed. You totally dont wanna know!

Alright. So much of this bordom..